By now, you've come to Clunkerture, thinking "That writer was completely wrong about the E60 M5. Let's see what other nonsense he's spewing out!" I'm only too happy to oblige, if what you're looking for is complete and utter nonsense.

Such is the case with this new feature I'm introducing, called LeMons Possibilities, where I a) pick a car that can be had for under $500, b) wonder at the possibilities of turning it into a race car even though I can't even change the fluid in my transmission, and c) put up some Craigslist links of some potential versions of the car worth considering and come up with reasons to shoot them down.